Fate And His Gang

Why is it, when you’ve noticed something annoys you it suddenly appears everywhere? This has happened with me and a particular phrase - "just wait and see what happens." It seems to have an uninvited and unsympathetic hold over my life and other people’s mouths at the moment. I should apologise in advance as if this phrase can be applied to anything in your life you will start to notice it creep in and nest in all conversations from now on.

I'm a planner; I like to know what I'm doing and if it's going to work. This doesn't seem a totally unrealistic ideal for life does it? Just hanging about and seeing what life throws at you seems an almost dangerous proposition if anything, it’s leaving an awful lot of responsibility up to the gods of Fate if you ask me. And if Sod is one of them, he and his law already don’t like me.

It’s an irritating fact of life that occasionally scenarios occur where our wonderful intellect and decision-making abilities are as useful as a chocolate teapot. You want to stick your tongue out at Fate and his gang and make things happen your way but you can’t. Some (horrible) times you can’t make decisions yet and you actually do have to wait for Time and Fate to have their fun until things work themselves out a bit. This is the part I don’t like. It’s not about being impatient, because I can deal with queues. I even enjoy the excitement of waiting for something to happen...as long as you know something is going to. And there’s the rub. That is what makes me fluster and bustle and want to box people’s ears, with “wait and see what happens” you don’t know what, if anything, is going to happen! 

I should possible explain some context here and why I am being plagued with this satanic phrase. Typically, and yet not typically at the same time, it’s to do with a boy. Yes Boy, I’m talking about you, who decided in his infinite wisdom that moving to Denmark would be a great idea (for reasons to do with architecture I believe, not because I’m so horrible that leaving the country is the only option...I hope). Now we both worked in an office which is effectively a microcosm of procrastination and gossip so since his emotional departure I, who still live in this bubble for three more weeks, have been inundated with “Are you Ok?s” and “What’s going to happen now?s”. These questions, I have noticed are actually completely pointless because really, people end up answering themselves. 

For example: 

Colleague (usually with sympathetic head tilt): “Are you OK?”

Me (feigning a sudden interest in whatever Olympic sport is currently being shown on the TV - it turns out to be discus throwing): “Yes, fine thanks.”

Colleague (ignoring the TV completely and staring at my eyes to see if I’ll cry): “What’s going to happen now then, with you two?”

Me (adding distracting gesticulations supposedly in my anger at the referee’s decision) “I don’t know really.”

Colleague (moving their chair in front of the TV): “Oh, so might you go and see him?”

Me (trying to subtly shuffle my chair away without taking my eyes off the flying discus): “I don’t know, we’ll have to...wait and see what happens,” (knuckles start to contract and turn white at this utterance.

Colleague (patting my tense rock of a hand) “I see.”

Me (in an odd, strained, squeaky voice that I hope comes across as excitement about the distance cleared by the cheering discus thrower and not due to the volcano brewing in my head) “What would you do?”

Colleague (staring wistfully out to the car park) “I don’t know, I guess you have to think about it, weigh up your options, see how you feel and...... WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS....I didn’t know you liked discus so much?”

They probably didn’t actually shout that bit but that’s how it echoes in my head. 

I know it’s not anyone’s fault and people are trying to be supportive etc and that there really isn’t anything else to say. Though one person did try to be ‘cruel to be kind’ and tell me his version of what actually was going to happen and his body can now be found floating down the Thames. Even if I do hate the phrase with a unnecessarily violent passion, hearing the ‘truth’ is even worse and to get the answers I want to hear would involve someone having impressive psychic powers. Unfortunately, in a scenario where control really does lie with Time and Fate, as much as it makes me want to implode, explode or simply sleep until it’s over, the only option may be to take a deep breath and...(dare I type it again)...wait and see what happens.